Today I had a thought, a honest thought. I had a thought about a version of me. In that version, I am as beautiful, witty and sassy as I am in this version. But in that version, I believe in soul mates. I yearn to be the home of my
I once had a friend named Jameson Pirkel. We are not friends anymore. However, when we were friends, I noticed, he was kind in his speech, competent in his skills and loud in his head. We developed a friendship because we both possessed loud octaves of inner monologues in our
What did I learn from choosing an un-partnered life? I learned that I can make time to notice the unfolding of lilies. A detail in a partnered life I would have considered a luxury. In the routine chaos of packing lunches, doing school runs and filling out tax-forms.
It is Monday, I am adjusting. There is effort to balance self-doubt with hope. I always looked down on people who were hopeful, the ones who say, "God has a plan", "Trust life to work out". I held immense hate for these platitudes. I am
I wore white because I thought it made things simpler. White felt like a decision that didn’t need defending. A clean argument. A way to say: I am not complicated, even when I was. I arrived early. Too early. I stood at the top of the golden stairs pretending
Sometimes my heart yearns for a love story. This is an attempt to fulfill my yearning. This story is by all accounts fictional for every reader, except for the two humans mentioned in the story. Once upon a time, many a mental breakdowns ago, there lived a lady, who was
“Are we meeting today?” Nidhi asks on our book club thread. “Let’s do it next weekend?” I reply. I am avoiding meeting them because I am scared I’ll cry. I have a faculty interview tomorrow. My chest is tight in the way it gets when I feel too
Sometimes, I wake up to murmurs. They only rest once they find an outlet. This a morning murmur I never wanted to be princess. I found the thought revolting. I was told, however, I carried the potential to secure the position of princess. "If you play your cards right&
I found myself struggling somewhere in the midst of my 4th year as a doctoral student. A position I dreamt of being, in a field I loved. I looked around. People were dropping off, like zombies. Mental health crashes have signs, a big one being: disassociated presence. You can see
I've been thinking a lot about friendships. Especially the ones that bloom throughout all seasons of life: the spring, the fall, the summer and of course the dreadful winter. I believe, friendships are sites that hold us, just long enough, for us to renew the will we need
"He did what?", "It was confusing", "He wrote you sexually graphic details about what went down with his exes?", "Well, we were doing creative writing..." "Ah I see. So, you received a literary dick pic" The sense of disgust in
I notice my alarm go off at 6:30. I reluctantly, reach out for my phone to snooze the sound knocking my brain awake. My eyes resist the light of my touchscreen, My brain notices that I have a message form a half-friend of mine. He has sent a